I still remember the feeling of the hard concrete on my back. The dark, Greyish, porous rocks and tiny chips of sand poking through my thin White shirt, trying to make my skin aware of their presence. The damp and cold solid lying just as still as me and staring at the same massive yet pulchritudinous sky lying still as the two of us.
"Why I was lying there" I know not. "Was anyone with me?" my brain won't let me recall the memories. All that I remember or (pretend to do so) is staring at those beautiful clouds floating around ever so lightly and the superior yet so down to earth sky staring down, back at me.
Then began the arguments, my thoughts fighting one another.
"No, it's Orangish-Pink!.. "No!, No!, No!," fought back the other, "Its Magenta".
Pretty sure it went on for a few several minutes, my different brain cells enlisting down ever colour to possibly exist and knocking each other out and only to stop by a weird yet familiar sound *tap tap tap*. It was loud but synchronized. It was hard metal to concrete but a melody to my ears and how stiff I was to my body. I was on my feet after a few groans from every bone in my body but I did it, eventually, or that's what I thought before the Iron deficiency hit me hard and made my feet wobbly. Trying to balance, I rubbed my eyes vigorously, ask me not why. When I made it back to reality, finally, I noticed two girls. "Oh wait" it was only one, jus the vitreous humor playing tricks on my eyes. My feet realizing what their work is and me recognizing I was standing in the middle of park with lush green tress all around me, I smacked my head hard twice trying to concentrate and escape my day dreams. *Tap, tap tap*, the sound became even more distinct and clear almost like that of my vision. That's when I noticed it was the same little girl that came to the park to take a stroll...and the sound was from her walking stick. Yes, she was visually impaired.
There she was, walking ever so slowly yet so gracefully, her Pink flowery dress dancing along with the wind, her silk black hair tied down to a braid and a huge grin on her face, with two teeth missing, yet looking so beautiful and contagious that it made me smile at her sight. She came to park everyday at this time and kept to herself and her best friend, the swing.
Then I came to a realization, my pupils dilated and I started asking myself the most random questions. 'What her name is?' I have no idea. 'Have I seen her often' Yes. 'Have I ever talked to her?' Yes, this once when I apologized for mistaking her for my friend. 'Have I ever started a conversation with her?' Never.
Something was different and I could feel it. I wanted to approach her and talk to her but no, I could not overcome the guilt to reach out to her. But like every fiction to ever exist, I built up my courage and a little coaxing from my inner voice, there I was standing in front a girl, not very big but not too small either and at the shuffle of my feet she looked up immediately and I blurted out "Hey" so loudly, pretty sure it startled her.
Flushed but stiff at not knowing what to do I stood there in awkward silence for what felt like forever before she replied "Oh me?" (pointing at herself ) "Hey".
I replied back but it came out like a whimper "Hi".
"Wanna take a seat?"
"Sure" I replied.
Like a baby penguin, I waddled my way into the seat ever so awkwardly and we sat there, swinging, in silence for a few long minutes. The only sounds around us were the creaking of the old rusted swings and the rustling of the dried leaves.
Then we both started "What's-"...I let her speak
"What's your name ?" she asked and we exchanged a few questions, like "Which grade are you in?" "Which flat do u live in?" and every question to ever exist in making small talk.
A few minutes of chattering later we ran out of questions and back to the loud silence.
Being bad at small talk I went back to the waddling penguin swinging style and suddenly came a question to mind to make another small talk. A question I feel guilty every time I think about it but I don't regret one bit. "What's your favorite color?" I blurted out again, in a high-pitched voice and there it was, as soon as the words left my mouth I knew what I had done. A pang of guilt over came me. I started imagining the worst case scenarios "This is why they ask us to think before we speak" I shouted to myself ."What if she resents talking to me" "What if she thinks I'm mocking her"' I started panicking before a calm voice soothed all the thoughts in my head. It was hard yet calm, she replied "I am blind, I have no idea how colors looks" and I felt a mountain drop on my shoulders and tears rolling down my eyes.
That was the minute I realized how we take the simplest of things for granted.
How we have never acknowledged the presence of colors.
How we have never been truly appreciative of them colors and appreciative is not applauding at a painter's work but the actual color itself.
That silly moment changed my way of looking at life forever.
"Hey is everything okay?" the same calm voice broke through the dozen thoughts running in my brain "Yes, yes" my voice loud "yes" this time way softer I replied.
I wanted to make a run but my feet were stuck steady to the ground.
Suddenly I knew what was the right thing to do
I turned to her, held her hands and told "what if I thought u how colors look-"(I almost spit out) and changed it to "felt"
There I saw, the huge grin disappear from her face turning ever so immediately into a gloom (as gloomy as gray).
"U can try, like the rest of them out there but I got to tell you it won't work" and out of the blue I was the most confident person to ever exist and I replied with a bold voice "Trust me I can do it". she said "Well, there is not pain in trying now is there."
So I asked her to pick out a color, anything she wanted, after a few minutes of contemplating with her thoughts she said, "What about my dress? What color is it?"
"Woah, a beautiful choice" I replied.
"Your dress is Pink"
She replied wittily "Sure, must be really pretty, I chose it after all"
I laughed not paying attention because immediately I was pondering how I would describe pink.
She asked "Do u give up" but I did not respond...my finger tapings became even more aggressive and I broke into a sweat but "ah hah, yes!"
She was quizzical
I said, "Just imagine, you entered a carnival and -" "and?" she asked "what's day is really special to you?" I asked " she replied without skipping a beat "my birthday"
Okay "It's your bday and you are entering a carnival. A sweet smell enters your nose and you already know what it is. You ask "mom, can I have some cotton candy?" and she says yes and there you are holding the fluffiest yet the lightest candy in your hand and as soon as u place it on your tongue it melt breaking into sweet sugar molecules and while u relish your candy your friend comes jumping and hopping towards you and says, "I have something for you" and places the softest and plushiest teddy bear (that she won in a game ) in your hands. You run your hands through its thick fur and there u feel it" she breaks into my convo, "I feel it, I actually have a teddy jus like that" "and there it is. That's how pink feels to me"
She had the biggest grin on her face "another color , another color " she chanted in her calm voice only to be interrupted by her mom calling her back home.
Saddened, she said "thank you so much" I really do see the colors now.
and to cheer her up I said "don't worry one color a day." "We'll do blue tomorrow"
"Please don't tell me blue feels like water because I'm tired off that line now" she replied and walked away with her companion tapping the ground.
I was beaming and blushing to myself when I heard her voice again
"Hey Poojitha, the answer to your previous question, I guess I know it now. Pink is my favorite color" and she walked away.
That moment set a spark in me but was immediately blown away when I thought about millions of kids who have the hear the same "Water feels blue" everyday.
After some research and lot of help from my mother, I got into making tactile books ( a book for the visually impaired) to feel and the words brailed
I made my first tactile book in for the kids who will never have to hear the cliché description about the most splendid colors over and again.
Now, if not millions at least it will help out a few dozen VI children out there understand the feeling of colors.
Just like I made u visualize my entire narrative throughout!